We have to chuckle at the title of this post, Valentine’s Day, Romance & Fertility Treatments – because, as all of our patients know, Romance and Fertility Treatments rarely mingle nicely in the same sentence. One of the biggest challenges posed by fertility treatments and all they require is keeping the essence of a couple’s romance alive.

Kickstart Romance Amid Infertility Treatments

This Valentine’s Day, we invite you to take a new approach to romance, intimacy, and sensuality – leaving the sex out of it (or not, that choice is up to you). Here are three tips on how to feel connected, romantic, and inspired about your relationship – without feeling pressure from the inner- or outer world.

1. Practice self-care for the days leading up to Valentine’s Day

People talk about self-care, but how often do they practice it in “real life?” We like to say that self-care is about far more than justifying a mani-pedi or massage. Yes, those things can be part of a self-care routine, but sustainably taking care of yourself requires more than that.

• Make sure you’re getting plenty of rest.
• Take as many walks outside as you can (even if they’re only for five or 10 minutes).
• Breathe deep (exhaling for a couple of counts longer than the inhale) to relax the parasympathetic nervous system.
• Say no to anything that doesn’t light you up (reducing resentment, stress, and frustration).
• Try a new version of a healing modality (like acupuncture, jin shin jyutsu, Qi Gong, a restorative yoga class, Thai massage, etc.).
• Nourish yourself with the right foods – focusing on the ones that make you say “yum” from the inside out.

It’s impossible to feel romantic or interested in connecting with another if we feel depleted. Restoring balance goes a long way toward softening toward your partner.

2. Do something fun rather than “romantic”

You can’t force romance if you’re not feeling it. Instead, make it a point to connect with your inner child or adventurer and try something fun, different, and carefree. Examples here in the Sacramento area include:

• Smash Sacramento. At Smash Sacramento, couples choose between their Rage Room or their Axe Throwing Rooms and let it all out. Yeah. It’s pretty awesome.
• Head to the Teetotalist (non-alcoholic bar). As you know, alcohol is a no-no when TTC. The great news about that is the amazing array of mocktails available in the meantime. Rather than make DIY versions at home, heat to the Teetotalist (Sacramento’s best, zero-proof, non-alcoholic bar) for their Valentine’s Date Night Paint & Sip. You’ll get to sip delicious mocktails made using bitters that are actually good for you and leave with your own work of art. Pretty awesome.
• Mystique Dining. Who doesn’t enjoy a good magic show? It doesn’t matter if you “know how they do it,” it’s still so fun to watch. At Mystique Dining in Folsom, couples enjoy a five-course meal followed by a 45-minute magic show. Presto!
• Zion VR (Virtual Reality & Escape Room). Yeah, you’ll look a little weird to anyone who isn’t playing the game. In the meantime, you and your partner are working together in multi-player virtual reality games (more than 50 to choose from) and/or escape rooms. Never experienced the wonders of VR before – don’t worry. Zion VR says best: “If you can flick a light switch while flushing the toilet, you can play VR.
• Valentine Haunt. Do you and your partner love haunted houses? If so, take this Valentine’s Day in a whole different direction. Sacramento’s Valentine Haunt has three separate Haunts available for your scary enjoyment.

Leaving the focus on romance or sex behind and embracing a new vision for this Valentine’s Day may be exactly what the fertility doctor ordered to find joy and fun again in one another’s company.

3. Get foot rubs together

Before or after dinner at a favorite restaurant (or making a meal together at home), head to one of our area’s amazing massage or foot spas – and give your collective tootsies the royal treatment. We did a poll here in the office and our staff’s favorite foot massage (reflexology) destinations are:

• Mae’s Acupressure Massage & Acupuncture
• Happy Feet Spa
• Endulge Massage & Reflexology
• Siri Thai Massage & Bodywork

The whole world looks and feels better after a great massage!

Bonus Tip: Skip Valentine’s Day this time around

Valentine’s Day is like any other calendared holiday. Some years you feel like it, and others – you don’t. If you aren’t feeling it this time, you have our full permission to skip it altogether. Get home from work, don your PJs, order a pizza or your favorite take-out, and watch a show or cheesy movie together. Giving yourselves a pass might be the most romantic move of all this year.

NCFMC Wishes You a Stress-Free Valentine’s Day

The Northern California Fertility Medical Center fertility specialist team wishes you a stress-free Valentine’s Day. If you’re feeling romantic, celebrate it. If not, there are plenty of other times to schedule a romantic night out. Just remember to say, “I love you,” and be grateful for what you have together in the meantime.